Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Great Gas Conspiracy

'Tis a mystery methinks. How is it that gas prices are falling so rapidly and steadily? OPEC cuts production, yet prices continue to fall? Winter is setting in, and prices continue to fall?
Welcome to the secret stimulus package. Citizens aren't spending! We can't get the economy moving without people spending! What are we going to do!?!
Deals are made behind closed doors. George and Dick meet with the Exxon and OPEC folks.
"Just cut prices... back to where they were a few years ago. People will be so Happy that they'll start driving more. Where will they drive? To stores to spend the money that otherwise would have gone to gas. They'll go on vacations and book hotels and buy souvenirs. Low gas prices will get their little minds off of alternative energy ideas, which will once again cost more to pursue than cheap oil! They're sheep anyway, and will happily go back to their old spending habits! The economy will be saved!"
"What's in it for us?" The Exxon leaders will say.
"Well, once they get back in the habit of spending freely, they'll become addicted to gas again. We'll pass more laws making it even harder for alternative energy to get going if oil prices rise again. Once the laws are in place, you can jack that price back up there and they'll have no alternative but to pay it! The Democrats won't be able to do anything because we'll have already tied their hands, and with the public so disillusioned with gas prices again, they'll vote in a Republican saviour! Like Energy Maven Sarah Palin! It's brilliant! "
"Mwahahahaha!" from everyone in the room.
Yeah, it's a stretch... but wouldn't it make a fun novel? And won't you all be surprised when something like that does happen!?! You can say you read it here first!
Happy cheap gas days. Enjoy them while you can... and IF you can!
More Later

No comments: