Friday, August 7, 2009

Happy Freaking Birthday

Ah yes. Birthdays.

Days to celebrate the beginnings of a life. The years that have passed. The excitement of another year under your belt.

Today was mine. Here's how it has been.

The Wife worked an overnight shift, and so was gone when I awoke. I went to let the dogs out to do their business, and discovered that Holly Bedudah had befouled her kennel in ways that no dog has ever done before. The white mat she sleeps on was covered in thick brown goo, as was Holly herself. Why do dogs, with their amazing noses, feel it appropriate to roll in excrement?
After cleaning up that mess, I returned to the downstairs bathroom to clean up.

So, here's some interesting excrement information. The Boyo has the ability to clog any toilet in the house after he poo's. I don't know exactly how he does it, but there you have it. Well, he had used the downstairs bath the day before, and had clogged the potty. So I got the plunger and cleared the clog. When I came upstairs, I was greeted by my super pooping Boyo, who proudly proclaimed that he had just finished going poo poo in the upstairs potty!

I went back downstairs for the plunger and proceeded to clear the upstairs potty. At one point the plunger backfired a bit and sloshed poo water over my feet and the floor. So, once the toilet was clear, I got to clean up more excrement.

I had more crap on me before 9 am than most people do all day.

Soon the Wife came home and we had a little breakfast. Then she went to bed at my request, and the kiddos and I decided to watch a little "Singing in the Rain", since it was raining hard here anyway!

After that, it was time for my little Sweet Pea to take a nap. With her comfortably in her crib, the Boyo and I went out to the shop to polish up a knife that will be selling soon. You know, just a quick shine for the blade and bolsters. Shouldn't take more than ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

And it didn't, but while I was cleaning the buffing compound from the blade and polishing it with the chamois, my hand slipped, and... well...

Three hours and five stitches later, we left the Emergency Room and headed for supper.

Now, we have eaten a nice Chinese supper, the kiddos are cleaning their toys. Thanks to the stitches, I can't help with baths tonight, so my exhausted wife is left with that chore. Early bedtime for all though, we want to get this day in the books.

Hopefully this will not be how the whole year goes. If it is a foreshadowing day, well... Then I'm looking forward to being 39!


More Later

2 comments:

Sharon said...

Oh John! I am so sorry your day was less than I wished for you... a LOT less! I so admire the way you take things in stride... You have always been able to look on the bright side of life and all it has to offer... I do hope the rest of the year goes SO much more smoothly!
I am so glad you were born!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
We love you!

ssouth said...

Sorry your birthday was a potty pooper. There's always next year! Hang in there. Love you.