Is all of life change? Or is it just me? Driving home in the early morning for today I stopped about a dozen times to take pictures.
"Oh how I would love to do this for a living!" I thought. "travel around, take pictures, write about it, get paid for it."
And I spent the rest of the drive home trying to figure out how to make it work.
I have a rare disorder known as JRADD, Job Related Attention Deficit Disorder. I can find work. Pay the bills and save some money. But within a couple of years I get a little wanderlusty and want to try something else. Never quite satisfied with what I'm doing at the time. Granted, some of the jobs I've had were such that moving on was a much better option. (see; working fast food) But now I've got a bunch of Ideas about what I want to be when I grow up and an oddly satisfying job that I'm already in, and the conflict in my head is raging!
Stay a medic! It's secure, it's rewarding, it has benefits! You get a paycheck every two weeks! It's challenging and interesting! Every day, every call is different. And the stories you have you wouldn't get making bird feeders or taking pictures of flowers!
No, no you fool! Be a photographer! You love that! Money isn't everything! OHH! Or you could just do stained glass! You love that too! Someday you'll be a famous glass artist. Ooh! Ooh! Grow tomatoes for a living! You could be the TOMATOMAN!
Do you realize how hard it is to concentrate on anything with all of this noise in my head!?! How do I have my cake and eat it too? Stay a medic and be a photographer? Get paid for my 'hobbies'? It is terribly frustrating.
And so, I start a 'business'. I've named it Bluefeather Gardens and Workshop. I'm getting a website built. I've even got business cards. But no time to really get it going. Too busy being a dad/husband/medic. So I'll build it slow. Sell a few things here and there. Hope and Pray that 'The Business' will start bringing income into the family. Then I'll slowly transition from Medic who is an artist on the side, to Artist who's a medic on the side.
Yet, as I've mentioned before, I have a tad bit of the JRADD. And that fills me with fear. For if by some twist of fate my business takes off, and I am able to provide for my family and such... what if I want to do something else then?
The only factual, historical evidence I have that Bluefeather Gardens and Workshop would be different from every other job is from my days as a travelling musician/speaker. I loved that job. Unlike other jobs I've had I continue to play my guitar, write songs, and such. I don't cut carpets for fun. Never drive big rigs just on a lark. We found a way to make our 'passion' somewhat profitable. And it was good!
BGW would be me doing what I already love to do. It would also be a way to get rid of the stockpile of materials and things I've made! Glass, wood, metal, knives, plants, jelly. Great googly-moogly I have too many hobbies! So I don't think JRADD will come into play.
Bottom line I guess, is will I be able to support my family. Provide them with the things that my folks provided me with. Will I be happy. Guess there's only one way to find out. Just get out there and do it.
Oh, and those pictures from this morning? Here's a couple...
Oh yes, and today's thankfulness?
The rain that fell outside my window, lulling me into a deep sleep. Even though said sleep lasted about five hours, it was peaceful because of the rain. I think I'm water oriented.