Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Dressing Up

NM
I don't like to get dressed up. Mainly because about the only occasion I have to dress up is to go to funerals. Oh sure, there are weddings, baptisms, job interviews, or an occasional 'event' requiring such attire. But mostly I get out the ties when somebody dies.

I went to Tom's service the other day with my Wallace tartan tie on. Beautiful service, many fond memories of him, and his daughter did an outstanding job of eulogizing him. But I was uncomfortable in the shirt/tie/pants get up. It was too hot and humid to be overdressed. Add to that my basic discomfort with getting dressed up anyway, and the sweat factor increases exponentially.

Women have it easier than men in the 'dressing up' department. Women can wear light, flowy, cottony dresses - look phenomenal - and have some air circulation for tropical Iowa days. The men either wear comfortable khakis and short sleeved shirts - and look somewhat under dressed for a funeral, or wear suits (even sans jacket) and be totally cut off from air reaching any skin save that which surrounds the head and hands. Then to top it off, we tie the tie around our neck! Cutting off any transfer of air that might have happened around our neck.

What is the deal with the tie look anyway? I understand that the whims of fashion change with the season. But ties, which seemed to appear around the time women were wearing corsets and incorporating birdcages and such into elaborate headgear, have stood the test of time. Even when the corsets and ridiculously unwieldy hats fell out of vogue with the ladies, ties marched on. Do we really need an overpriced piece of fabric to hide our shirt buttons from view? Are they that unmentionable that we need to cover them up? What if we made the buttons out of gemstones or pretty rocks or something... bling them up a bit. Then do they need to be hidden? Are ties just a reminder to our bosses that the yoke of employment has us ensnared? Do we really need to wear a noose to prove we are trendy/employed/fashionable/high class?

I suppose the entire fashion world would scoff and mock me as a hopeless 'What Not To Wear' candidate. But I think that comfort should trump tradition. I think that when I die, I will make it a rule that anyone attending my funeral in anything more than comfortable clothes will be sent home to change, or given a bathrobe in the event that they have nothing else close by. In fact, perhaps bathrobes will be the uniform of the day that day. Or those white, flowy things the Muslim guys wear on their way to Mecca during the Hajj. (and sensible underwear, since I don't know how see through those are) But man, those look comfy! (they are called ihram garments, by the way, and during the hajj they are worn to represent a state of purity and equality) Or maybe just a good, old fashioned Toga dress code. No laurels allowed though.

Either way, I have given serious thought to proposing kilts as appropriate uniforms for my job. As paramedics, we could have our own EMS tartan, blue and white checks with red piping running throughout, perhaps in a normal sinus rhythm pattern. We could have special sporrans that held our trauma shears, pens, paper and what not. And the bottom hem could be lined with reflective tape for better night time visibility! It gets a bit warm wearing Teflon impregnated pants after all.

Any way I slice it, I cannot seem to justify the tie. There has to be a better way, a more comfortable way, to look sharp and professional. Hmm...


More Later

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